Simple Wisdom Tip #128: How To Disagree

So many of us react quickly to what someone else proposes or states and we disagree in a disagreeable manner.  We’re inclined to say, “I disagree with that.” or even worse, “That will never work!” or something like, “That doesn’t make sense.”  That kind of response usually raises the tension in a conversation and makes reaching consensus or a common way forward that much more difficult.


What not try this approach:  rather than flat-out disagreeing, be curious.  For example, say “John, how do you see that working?  I’d like to agree with you but can’t get there yet.”  This keeps tensions down and openness up, and it often leads to a better exchange of ideas.  It also makes it easier for John to modify his position instead of feeling defensive.  Give it a try and see what happens.